LEFT BRAIN / RIGHT BRAIN

Hurricanes are Mother Nature's subtle way of telling you that it's time to get off the beach. Look at the data: hurricane season in this chunk of the northern hemisphere runs from around mid-August to mid-November when the Atlantic cools enough to a point where storms can't suck up enough moisture to get a good spin going. In the meantime, vacations end as kids go back to school (ha ha) and people go back to the jobs. Then the named storms end, and we all can relax.

Welcome to the post-Hurricane Floyd world. Apart from some flooding and wind damage, almost all of us are still here. F.E.M.A. checked us out, and insurance companies and government disaster grants are spreading out the cost of rebuilding. We dust or dry ourselves off and, with fist raised high, declare we've weathered the storm, man.

It's no surprise that hurricanes cause damage to populated areas. 85% of humanity lives within 25 miles of any ocean. Oceans provide food, normally stable temperatures and weather, and a mode of travel for many. The occasional blow should be expected. With modern technology, we can see them before they're even born, and we can prepare ourselves sometimes weeks in advance. And note, it is not the hurricane that does the damage - it's the lax building codes, cheap land that tends to flood in a storm surge that people build on, and the nutbars that just have to surf in 80 knot winds that cause trouble.

Man has the ability to overcome nature through technology. Look at the Pyramids of Egypt - they've been there for thousands of years, monuments to mankind's technical and building prowess. Today, steel framed buildings and updated building codes can keep at bay another Andrew or Hugo. Granted, the buildings become more expensive to produce, an subsequently to buy, but if you want a view of the ocean, you gotta pay through the nose for it.

Man will continue to live and work at the waters edge. His growing knowledge and sophisticated technology will keep him from falling in.

Get off the beach? You kidding? Hell! Let's get the below average 50% surfboards and sea-kayaks, tow 'em out to sea, and let Floyd (Oooh, Sheriff Taylor, Opie needs a haircut, oooh) drag 'em under the waves or suck 'em to the land of Oz or wherever the missing go.

People are idiots. Individually, a man(or woman, no sexism here), can be dumped in any remote location with minimal supplies and survive if there's adequate, potable water and a food supply. In a group, like if a plane crashes in the Yukon or something and rescue isn't coming, the ones that strike out on their own are more likely to be the ones that stumble into a logging village and up to the CNN van and sell the story rights of their harrowing ordeal. That is unless your plane crashes in the Andes and you play soccer and you've wondered how some of your teammates might taste in a stir-fry with some peanuts and celery.

There is logic in the digression. Individual people or small groups who live alone - like the nutball Unabomber or the Branch Davidians - live in inland areas, like Montana or inland Texas, where it's safe. They usually end up pissing off the authorities and wind up getting taken out by the B.A.T.F. or F.B.I. or some militia - man-made change of venue if you catch my drift. Populations tend to have the I.Q. of the stupidest of the group. Populations live in Hurricane prone areas like Florida and the Carolinas, or in Tornado Alley, or right on the San Andreas fault on a mudslide/rockslide/fire prone hill where sixteen armed gangs and the L.A.P.D. meet to hunt man-mauling cougars in California. "Say Buffy,(said in a Mr. Howell type voice of Gilligan's Island fame) the Santa Ana winds blew the fire through the house and up the hill, scaring away the cougar eating your mother, but also getting rid of all the vegetaion so the rain could wash the topsiol into the ruins of our living room and cabana that were shaken up by the 7.6 tremblor and cracked the art deco tile of the bathroom...let's rebuild!" Doesn't anybody remember Pompeii? Think technology'll save your ass? What about Atlantis, huh? They used their own death ray on themselves, didn't they?

Mankind should be allowed to live where he wants, but he should also realize that he might have to pay the consequences of pissing off Mother Nature. The $400,000 oak-shingled villa with a view of the Golden Gate or the quarter-mil glass-rich beach house overlooking the Florida Keys might just get wiped off the face of an angry planet with the power of a bitch goddess.